Little life. Big love.

Stay at home mom somewhere between crunchy & smooth. Wife. Photographer. Mom life is my life and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My heart belongs to two little boys, Braden & Greyson. Braden is my first born, 4 years old and just like his mama. Greyson is almost 2 now and a little firecracker! Raising little boys to become great men is what my life consists of. We are a nature loving, star gazing, a little crazy but always fun family.

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The Elephant On Insta

Let’s talk about something that’s been grinding my gears for a while now, all the fake instagrams that you don’t know are fake. I am highly annoyed with a majority of influencers because they are paying or using fake programs to gain likes/followers and have been doing this forever now (but it’s only getting worse). If you use engagement boosters like telegram or programs you pay for followers, I’m talking to you… you have COMPLETELY ruined Instagram. Companies choose to work with these influencers because of their high following and high number of likes, even though these influencers are paying for their followers and likes. So companies are pretty much fueling this madness by paying the fake influencer so they can continue to pay for their fake engagement/followers… it’s a vicious cycle! Then you have the real influencers who get discouraged and disconnect because the people with fake engagement and followers are the ones prospering. At the end of the day we are all humans but I will never understand why certain humans feel the need to use huge telegram engagement pods or pay for a followers program… do you understand how fake this is?! Do you understand that you are ruining the integrity of the honest bloggers and influencers who have worked hard to get where we are? Is it possible for you to stop using all the fake programs and be real? People look to influencers/bloggers and most of you are shoving fake-ness down their throats and it’s honestly sickening.

Let’s face it, Instagram isn’t the same as it was a few years ago. The whole influencer fad took over, it would be different if companies chose to work with honest bloggers but instead they choose to work with the blogger with the highest number of followers, or the blogger who gets 3k likes on each post…. what they don’t know is 75% of these influencers they are choosing to work with aren’t reaching the audience these companies perceive. So in the long run these companies are getting scammed by fake followers and fake engagement!

Now I’m talking directly to the blogger who uses telegram, or pays for those following programs that do the follow to unfollow or even just flat out paying for followers or engagement. Can you please stop? I’m begging you to stop using these programs, stop ruining Instagram, stop living in your fake glory because that’s what it is, it’s all fake you have nothing to be proud of. You might think “oh, this is pretty harsh” but no it’s not. I’ve worked on growing my Instagram for years the right way and now all these new influencers come in using all this fake crap to grow their page and it’s HIGHLY annoying so I’m breaking my silence. I’m sure most of you have received that email or direct message asking if you want help with your engagement or following. Please report these accounts and people to Instagram, it is against their terms of service and I am determined to help Instagram shut this down and get back to the way it used to be. Honest likes, honest engagement, honest followers, honest influencers. You want to know how to help? Just be real, don’t fall into the seduction of the high likes and high followers and end up like these fake influencers. If all of your followers and likes are fake, what do you even have to be proud of? Absolutely nothing.

-xo mklo

appreciation

I see a lot of blog posts about under appreciated wives and I just want to say, I am so sorry that you feel this way. Every wife deserves to feel appreciated in everything you do. I’m lucky to have a husband that appreciates the things I do AND I’m blessed that he helps me out around the house.

I’ve seen articles about how it’s only the “woman’s job” to keep the house in order, take care of babies and cook all the meals. Well, I don’t agree with this. Marriage is a partnership, both people need to put in work. My husband helps out more than most, he helps me pick up and do laundry, he helps me cook and helps with the babies. He is a very active husband and father. I love to cater to him, I enjoy cooking his favorite meals and making sure he has a clean house to come home to every night but there are days that seem endless that I don’t get to clean the house and he is okay with that. He understands how busy my days can get with two children to care for and I appreciate him for being understanding.

I am a stay at home mom, so it is in my job description to clean, cook and take care of the children. I won’t complain about it because I love my job (even though it can be exhausting) I consider myself blessed to be able to stay home and raise my children instead of having to send them to daycare every day and the only reason I can do this is because my husband goes to work every day to provide for our family. I appreciate him, he appreciates me and that’s how it should work in all relationships.

My advice to the ladies who feel under appreciated is to sit down with your significant other. Have an honest talk with them and tell them how you feel, communication is key. If you can’t do this then you don’t need to be complaining about how unappreciated you are on social media. Give your relationship the chance to survive through things like this and talk to your partner.

Everyone deserves to be appreciated.

xo mklo

to my oldest

Thank you for making me the person I am today. Before you came along I was lost but you pointed me down the path I belong on. I remember being pregnant with you, so many worries about if I was going to be a good enough mother. People always told me it would come naturally but I didn’t know what that meant until I held you.

The day you entered this world my life changed, I realized that everything I thought mattered in life didn’t matter at all. You were so little, I was scared I would break you if I held on too tight. The way you looked at me though, you knew I was your mom and you knew you would always be safe in my arms. Those eyes were so amazed by the world, so intrigued by everything around. Many of our days were spent snuggled up, you never wanted to be sat down so we were pretty much attached at all times (I was completely okay with this.)

In your first year of life you taught me how to be a mom. I probably called the doctors office at least 100 times over small things I wouldn’t call about now. You began to walk before your first birthday and I remember crying with you when you fell and busted your lip for the first time. I felt like the worst mom ever but little did I know there would be many more bumps and bruises along this journey.

During your second year of life there was a lot more tumbles. We spent our days playing and our nights cuddled up watching movies. I rocked you to sleep every night. You started talking before your second birthday and your vocabulary is still growing. You loved being outside more than anything, we would just sit outside on pretty days and play until it was time to go inside. We went on walks and I would either pull you in your wagon or push you in your cool little car, you loved waving at the cars as they drove by.

Your third year was full of adventures, just you and I. We would go to different parks and play until the sun went down. We would hike and dance with the trees, these memories are beautiful to me. This year holds the date of the last time I rocked you to sleep, I don’t remember the exact day but I remember you starting to fall asleep just wanting to be cuddled instead of rocked. I still cuddle you every night and I wouldn’t have it any other way, I know one day you will want to sleep in your own bed but for now I enjoy sharing mine.

This past year has been amazing, you have grown up so much. You became a big brother and it made me love you even more than I already did to see how great you were with your baby brother. You called him “grace” for the longest time, now you call him by his full name but I never will forget your sweet nickname for him. I still carry you inside when you fall asleep in the car and I still pick you up every time you ask me to. I may not rock you to sleep anymore but we still cuddle every night. We went on plenty of adventures this year too, we just had a little baby tagging along with us (which you didn’t seem to mind.) Your imagination has sparked like a wildfire, I love playing creative games with you everyday. I love singing and dancing with you. Playing tag and hide & seek, playing with dinosaurs and trucks, crayons and play dough. Even though the play dough makes me a nervous wreck. I love jumping on the bed with you and our tickle fights.The truth is, you’ve become my best friend. I can’t imagine this life without you. You’re getting older and it feels like time is speeding up, you’ll be three in a few days and pretty soon be heading off to preschool. My days will be different without you here everyday and I’m not ready for that change but I am ready to watch you grow and learn, ready to see the amazing person you will become. I wish you could stay little forever, but we all know that’s not possible.

I love you son,

xo mommy

the best online boutique

Let’s talk about my favorite boutique! Shop pink blush has the most comfortable and stylish clothing ever. They’re clothes range from maternity to regular women’s wear! Some of the dresses I received during my pregnancy double as dresses that make nursing easily accessible which is an amazing feature for new moms!

click here to shop the above style

There’s nothing better than a dress that makes you feel beautiful and these dresses do exactly that! They are perfect for any maternity event, baby shower, maternity photo session, or date night! The best part is how they double for gowns that allow for easy access to nurse in after the baby is born so you aren’t wasting money on something you can only wear during pregnancy.

click here to shop the above style

The dresses fit perfectly after baby is born as well, still the most comfortable items of clothing!

click here to shop the above style

All of the above gowns double as maternity/nursing dresses, they are the most comfortable dresses I have ever owned. I’m not over exaggerating when I say I could live in these dresses!

Pink blush offers a variety of clothing, tops, bottoms, dresses for both maternity and regular women! Below are some of the most comfortable pants I have ever owned, I seriously think every individual should have a pair in their closet!

click here to shop the above style

There’s more fashion coming my way from

shop pink blush soon and I can’t wait to share those items with you as well! Don’t forget to check out their website and like them on Instagram!

xo mklo

Follow @shoppinkblush on instagram to know when they run specials!

Jord watch for the man in your life

Ladies, have you ever been stumped on a gift for your husband or any special man in your life? Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays or just a special gift to say “I love you”, I have a perfect gift to recommend! Jord watches are crafted perfectly and would make an amazing gift for the special man in your life. My husband loves his watch!

The watch I decided on for my husband is crafted with ebony wood, it’s the perfect accessory to top off any outfit. Here’s the link to shop this style: https://www.woodwatches.com/series/frankie/ebony-and-gold

Love is timeless, give the special man in your life a timeless gift. Every man deserves one of these beautiful, wood crafted watches! I’m hosting a giveaway with Jord watches! One lucky winner will receive a $100 store credit to use with them and everyone else who enters receives a $25 credit! Here’s the link to enter: www.woodwatches.com/g/aswegrow

Until the end of time.

xo mklo

Link to shop: www.woodwatches.com

Link to instagram page: www.instagram.com/jordwatches

no bake lactation cookies

I always see moms looking for something to help boost their milk supply so I decided to share a recipe that has worked for me! I love this recipe because I’m a huge fan of no bake cookies in general but if they can help boost my milk supply, I love them even more!

Here’s what you’ll need:

First you lay out your cookie sheets, wax paper.

Mix the oats, brewers yeast, almonds and flaxseed into a bowl.

Spoon out your peanut butter next so you can have it ready when you need to add it to the pot.

In your pot mix the sugar, cocoa, almond milk and coconut oil. Place stove on medium heat and bring to a rolling boil. Once you have it set to a rolling boil set a timer for 1:15 (this is extremely important!)

Once it’s boiled for set time, remove from heat. Add in peanut butter and vanilla, mix well until peanut butter is melted.

Pour this into your dry ingredients and mix well to make sure all the oats are covered. Then spoon out into wax paper. Let sit for at least 1 hour and store in air tight container.

I snack on these cookies throughout the day and it usually takes one or two batches for my milk to be in full force! Hopefully this recipe works for you the way it worked for me!

xo mklo

Click here for the YouTube video

a few of my favorite things (instagram edition)

Hey guys! So as you most likely know I receive and review products for shops! I decided to share about some of my favorites!
(YouTube reviews coming soon)

First on my list is our Sebastian lamb from cuddle and kind, this shop is lovely! For each doll bought they donate 10 meals to children in need, what's better than a shop that donates? Nothing! From what I've gathered they are a family owned company and very sweet individuals! The dolls are soft and very cuddly, my boys love their pal Sebastian and this mama loves telling everyone about the company ! Definitely at the top of my list!
instagram: @cuddleandkind
website: www.cuddleandkind.com

I have a couple favorite maternity shops I would like to share with you! Sexy Mama Maternity and Pink Blush Maternity, both of these shops have some VERY adorable, stylish clothes for pregnant mamas. Pink Blush also has a wide variety of other women's clothing as well! Be sure to follow their instagrams so you can keep up with the deals they frequently post!
instagrams:
@sexymamamaternity
@shoppinkblush
websites:
www.sexymamamaternity.com
www.pinkblushmaternity.com

above is sexymamamaternity labor gown || below is pink blush maternity gown

Everyone wants a magic cure for stretch marks! Well I don't have a magic cure but I do know of a little shop that can help you with proper skin care to prevent those stretch marks! I used here products every day during my pregnancy and I still use them everyday! I absolutely LOVE Belly and the Bean products, my favorite are the lotions she offers.
instagram: @shopbellyandthebean
website: www.bellyandthebean.com

Next on my list of favorite things comes to some baby carriers! I have yet to find my perfect backpack carrier so if you know of one, I would love to hear what it is but for now I'll tell you which ones I use and love. I love love love my elbe baby ring sling. The colors she offers are absolutely beautiful and it is very well made, we use this sling often. The baby loves it and I love how simple it is to use! I also have a Solly Baby Wrap, this is a lightweight, breathable wrap made from very soft fabric! I love this wrap so much, it's amazing compared to the moby wrap I own. I will say with babywearing you need to learn the proper ways to carry your baby for safety reasons, so PLEASE whichever carrier you decide to go with learn how to properly use it! 🙂
instagrams:
@elbebabyaz
@sollybabywrap
websites:
www.elbebaby.com
www.sollybaby.com

above is elbebaby ring sling || below is sollybaby wrap

My little man LOVES all sleep sacks but the two I'm about to tell you about made it to the top of our list.

We love our sleep sack and swaddle blanket from Woolino, my son practically lives in his sleep sack because he loves it so much! The 4 season baby sleep sack is made with 100% natural, breathable fibers and contain NO synthetic filling. The merino wool lining they use helps to regulate baby’s body temperature, so they are always at the perfect temperature! It's truly amazing. My first thought with this product was "won't the wool be itchy?" NO, it's not itchy at all, it's super soft and comfy. I'm not over exaggerating when I say my child is in his sleep sack ALL the time. I'm not joking you guys, this swaddle blanket and sleep sack are the softest things ever! Love them and I plan on looking into the universal sleep sack next! The universal sleep sack is for babies 2 months – 2 years old! How perfect, right?
instagram: @woolino
website: www.woolino.com

Another sleep sack we love is from nested bean theirs has a pouch on the front that resembles touch while the baby is wearing it. They offer different tog levels for different seasons, so it can keep your baby comfortable for whichever season you find yourself in. Different materials come with the different tog levels! Definitely worth looking into! The double zipper on this sleep sack makes changing diapers in the middle of the night a breeze, love it! If you use code PR-ASWEGROW15 you will get 15% off as well so that's amazing!
instagram: @nestedbean
website: www.nestedbean.com

Our baby comfort organic lounger is so amazing! It comes in handy if I want to lay baby Grey down wherever as it's essentially a portable bed. It fits perfectly in our wagon for on the go comfort and we've used it in the trunk for our drive in movie nights! It's so soft and comfortable even my toddler enjoys laying on it! All of them are handmade with organic cotton and fabric, so that makes this company even more special!
instagram: @thebabycomfort
website: www.thebabycomfort.com

If you've never experimented with amber teething necklaces I 100% recommend that you do! I stumbled across a little family owned shop on Instagram and fell in love with their products! They have necklaces that can help solve almost any problem made with all natural things! We have a necklace that helps with teething and reflux and love it, I'm currently looking into an adult necklace for myself! Definitely an amazing company that I would highly recommend to anyone!
instagram: @balticessentials
website: www.balticessentials.com

Postpartum tummy? Not to worry because I have TWO companies you can work with for postpartum leggings. I'll tell you the differences and let you decide for yourself which to try! I love both companies equally so I recommend trying both! They both have a compression like band around the stomach that tucks the postpartum flab away! They are wonderful, also great to workout in because you don't have to constantly readjust and pull your pants up. The leggings from preggo leggings have a higher band that goes up practically to the bottom of your bra line (love this) and they are full length leggings! The lalabubaby leggings have a smaller tummy and but still perfect to tuck the tummy and they come to mid calf on me. Both pairs of leggings are seriously amazing, I rotate back and forth between the two!

instagrams:

@preggo.leggings

@lalabubaby

websites:

www.preggoleggings.com

www.lalabu.com

above image is preggo.leggings || below image is lalabubaby

Last but not least, twistshake baby/toddler cups makes my list! I absolutely LOVE this company, their cups are amazing. Their sippys don't leak and their bottles seem to really prevent air bubbles. I'm a breastfeeding mama so I use my bottles for milk when I have to be away from baby grey but these bottles come with a formula cup and a mixer on the inside for those mamas who use formula! (FED IS BEST) I love this company, and if you use my discount code ASWEGROW20 you get 20% off your purchase! These cups are totally affordable and I recommend them over any cup you can buy in stores!
instagram: @twistshakebaby
website: www.twistshake.com

I hope you guys check some of these amazing shops out! I wouldn't recommend them if they weren't awesome ♥️

xo mklo

health matters

I started a health journey shortly after giving birth to my second son, I battled with postpartum depression and I needed to find a way to get back to myself so I started with health. Yoga and light exercise were my go to but then a friend reached out to me about something called Plexus. She had reached out to me a few times over the past couple years and I kept blowing it off but something about it this time caught my attention and it was the importance of my health, not just for myself but for my children. The only regret I have now is not starting my Plexus journey 2 years ago when she first reached out.
I’ve had so many people reach out to me asking what Plexus is and why I’m selling it so I decided to write a little blog explaining a little bit about it! I chose to sell Plexus because I believe in these products, I believe that they can help people and change people’s lives. I’m all about helping others to be the best version of themselves and when I decided to start my journey with Plexus I wanted to share it with all of you. Plexus does not sell quick fixes to weight loss or “bandaids”, our products get to the root of the problem and that’s gut health. So I’m going to start off with telling you a little bit about gut health and why it’s so important. Plexus is SO much more than weight loss.
“All diseases begin in the gut” -Hippocrates
Your gut is essentially your body’s second brain and it’s extremely important for your overall health. It correlates with mood, weight loss (if needed), energy, memory, and helps build a stronger immune system! I will leave a couple links at the end of my post so you can look into the importance of gut health for yourself and see I’m not just making this stuff up. Guys, GUT HEALTH IS SO IMPORTANT and this is what Plexus products focus on. Gut health can contribute to digestion, mood, health, mental health and so much more, they are linking together how gut health can effect your entire body! Some symptoms that correlate with poor gut health include abdominal pain, bloating after meals, reflux, headaches, fatigue, joint pain, anxiety, and a weakened immune system. This. Is. So. Important.
If my links aren’t enough to convince you about how important gut health is then google it on your own (make sure you find reliable sources) but you will learn so much about your body! So now that I’ve touched how important gut health is let me tell you what our products do for it! First focus is detox, breaking the toxins down, things like intestinal yeast and bad microbes. Balance and cleanse. Flushing out these bad toxins and detoxing your system, then refueling your gut with the good microbes! This is essential for overall wellness. Your gut is SO important, take care of it because you only get one. Plexus offers a variety of natural weight loss products, vitamins, natural pain relievers, energy boosters, and protein shakes! The main focus is getting your body working the way it’s supposed to.
I am a stay at home mom who loves spending time with my boys, I like to take them on hikes and do activities with them. Thanks to Plexus I have that extra energy, I’m not dragging throughout my days, I don’t have to drink coffee to stay awake through nap time to get chores done. I don’t have migraines and I haven’t had an anxiety attack in over a week which is HUGE for me. Health matters. I’m not just trying to sell you a quick fix or something so I can make money. I’m trying to share with you because helping others is important to me, helping others be the best version of themselves is the most important! So if you see me in your inbox reaching out to you about this, try not to be annoyed. I’m not trying to get on your nerves, I’m trying to share this amazing journey with you because I honestly believe everyone can benefit from Plexus. It’s always nice to have some extra cash on top of getting healthy and I can help you with both!! Reach out to me, let me help you get to the best version of yourself ♥️

Plexus is so much more than weight loss. It’s hope, it’s life changing, it’s health, it matters.

xo mklo
Links for the importance of gut health:

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/healthy_aging/healthy_body/the-brain-gut-connection

http://www.navacenter.com/community/article-library/browse/2015/06/01/your-body’s-second-brain—the-importance-of-gut-health

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_592467dae4b0b28a33f62fdd
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/oct/18/migraines-could-be-caused-by-gut-bacteria-nitrates-food-trigger-study-suggests

breastfeeding in public?

Let’s talk about breastfeeding in public, for some reason it’s frowned upon in our culture. I am a strong advocate for breastfeeding and breastfeeding wherever you feel the need to. If you want to take pictures and post them on social media go for it, you want to whip a boob out in the mall be my guest so why isn’t everyone on the same page? As breastfeeding mothers we’ve been told to cover up, go to the bathroom to do that, stay home, pump and use a bottle in public and many other things. Why is it that feeding babies the way nature intended is so controversial? A lady walking down the street in a string bikini that barely covers anything is perfectly okay but a mother nursing her child is explicit and unacceptable. This double standard has got to go.
I am currently breastfeeding my second son and ran into the whole nursing in public scene when we were out to eat for my birthday. The baby was hungry so me being modest, grabbed my cover and nursed in the booth. I received weird looks from people but they didn’t stop me. I choose to breastfeed, I also choose to cover myself while doing it. Not every mother uses a cover and that’s okay, in fact I wish I was comfortable enough to not worry about covering up. I had someone earlier today make a comment about formula, they seriously told me that that’s why formula is there so that I wouldn’t have to breastfeed in public. Obviously they are uneducated about breastmilk and breastfeeding which I feel like a lot of people are. I think plain ignorance is where a lot of the confusion comes into play. So let me try to educate some of the “booby haters” with some knowledge in a form that they may understand.
A mothers milk is literal magic. Women’s bodies begin to gear up for breastfeeding during pregnancy. Their boobs get bigger and some women even begin to lactate (produce milk) before the baby is born. In the first few days the mother produces something called colostrum which is liquid gold. This liquid gold builds the babies immune system and gets it going, it is rich in fat and nutrients that the baby needs. If you need to know more about this liquid gold just google “colostrum benefits” and be wowed by all the amazing information at your fingertips. After the colostrum stage the mother’s milk comes in and guess what? The mother produces just enough for her baby, exactly how much the baby needs. The milk is tailored for the baby that is latching onto her so different milk is produced for each individual baby. What’s even more amazing is that the mother’s milk literally changes if the baby gets sick, it transforms into what the baby needs to get better. (this is that magic part I was telling you about) but in all seriousness if you don’t know the benefits of breastmilk and breastfeeding please educate yourself, it’s actually really amazing.
Another argument I’ve heard that I want to tame is “why would you want to breastfeed in public, do you want perverts checking you out?” Well no that’s why I cover up… lol no but really let’s talk about this. If you’re a pervert that can’t keep your eyes off the breastfeeding mother that’s the pervs problem, not the mother’s. I have two sons and they will both know that boobs are for feeding babies, hell my oldest son is two and he already knows. He knows when I feed his baby brother that “moms milk helps Greyson grow” and that’s what all children should know.
It comes down to this: if you are shaming a mother for breastfeeding I hope that you know that you are making your mother look bad. Breastfeeding is natural, it’s beautiful and if it makes you feel weird then maybe you should be the one not going out in public because if a woman feeding a baby turns you on I’m sure the woman with the low cut shirt does the same. You’re the gross one, not the woman.
xo mklo
also if you would like to cover in style I use a cover from covered goods, here’s the link: http://covered-goods.myshopify.com?rfsn=578813.ef467u

postpartum depression

Postpartum depression is real, no matter how long you try to hide it or how long you try to ignore it…. it’s real. So here I am, supposed to be one of the happiest times in my life but I can’t stop crying. My newest son is 2 weeks old and perfect, he’s beautiful, sleeps great and is healthy. My firstborn is in love with his new brother and still happy, so why haven’t I been able to stop crying? I finally accepted the fact that I have postpartum depression or some form of it at least.
I’m not suicidal or thinking of hurting others but I am sad. All I want to do is sleep and I can barely get through a normal task without crying. I had to take my newborn to the doctor for his 2 week check up and checking in I accidentally said the name of my oldest son, this put me in tears for reasons I’m not sure of. I know it’s perfectly normal for parents to mix up names of their children, especially when the newest addition is just 2 weeks old. After I checked in they handed me a sheet of paper, I guess the pediatricians office I take my boys to has started screening for postpartum depression because it was a questionnaire for me to fill out. Reading the first few questions had me in tears because just about an hour before my sons appointment I had made an appointment of my own to speak with my OB about some options for postpartum.
I don’t like not being in control, especially of myself and my own emotions so I knew something had to be done. I am strongly, STRONGLY against medication but in these circumstances I am up to try anything to feel normal again. So the solution the doctor and I came up with was simple, I could try to find natural remedies at home (different vitamins, back into my yoga/light workout routine, go get a massage, take some relaxing baths) for 2 weeks TOPS and if I didn’t feel any change or if I felt the depression getting worse I will have to get a prescription filled for Zoloft. So starting tonight I am going to take a bath, try to meditate for 20 minutes and start a new vitamin supplement I picked up at GNC. If I do have to fall and take the Zoloft I will not be ashamed because I will know that I have tried everything to sway the depression on my own but some people, sometimes need to be medicated and that’s okay. It’s not something I will have to be on forever and they say it’s compatible with breastfeeding but it is still my very last resort.
I’m still convinced that this depression is stemming from change, turning a new page when I’m not so sure I was done reading the page before. Enjoying the time with my 2 year old, all the adventures we were able to go on together just him and I. I will miss that, I miss him. He has already changed so much, grown so much in just the two weeks since his baby brother has entered the world. I feel like I’ve missed it all. I miss being pregnant because I was able to do more with him and I think he misses me too. He loves his little brother and it’s so heartwarming to see but I know a part of him misses me getting in the floor whenever he wants and playing with him. Our trips to the park or to get ice cream. The one on one relationship I had with my firstborn is a memory now. I have to learn how to make new memories with two children, I have to learn how to be a successful mom of two.
Most people keep postpartum depression a secret. They’re either ashamed, embarrassed or feel bad about being sad during what’s supposed to be such a happy time. It’s definitely something I’ve had trouble with, especially deciding to share what I’ve been going through or to keep it to myself because like most others who hide it I am ashamed of being sad during this time that I should be happy. Everyone I have talked to about it has said “this is completely normal” but it’s not normal for me. I can feel myself slipping away from the person I was and I hate it. I’m usually strong minded and able to see the positive side and find happiness even when I’m the saddest but not this time. This sadness is different, it’s something I’ve never dealt with before. So here’s to trying to find a way to be able to do normal tasks again without crying, to finding my happiness again. Finding the light in this dark place I have found myself in, I’m still unsure how I ended up here in the first place.
xo mklo